THEOLOGICAL HABERDASHERY – Grandma makes a record

Who wrote this play?
There’s a lot of red herrings
Going to sack the script writer
And do some ad-libbing

My middle name might be Impatient, but my first name should, perhaps, be Patience. I’ve waited a long time for the first Bloomin’ Nora LP to be completed. 58 years; or 42 years; or 2 years; or 9 months. It depends where you start counting from.
11 or more songs; recorded in Coupar’s Magic Parlour in April, August, and November. No hassle, no ego, no major fuck-ups.
Words by me came alive as Brent and the Mighty G provided the bass lines and riffs giving each song its own feel with me playing violin on some tracks before Andy and Ollie joined in with keyboards and drums. It was all then expertly mixed by Andy and Ollie and finally mastered by Pete Maher. Or will be soon.
There’s some ranting and raving:
About people building walls.
Because the winner of the rat race is still a rat.
We’ve had enough of ticking boxes, and enough of ticking clocks.
We’re not fooled by Disney princesses and we don’t wear matching jackets!
There’s some celebrating:
The beat WILL beat the money and the revolution WILL be here;
The boy in brown and orange CAN fall in love with the girl in black and green;
The meaning of life is whatever you choose; you just need to SHOUT
There’s some remembering:
Those who put vodka first, and who bought us all rounds of drinks;
Those who have gone on to higher things:

Loosen your belt, speak out, freak out, read a book, forget the labels and the boxes, and if it’s all getting too much for you, fuck this shit and go to space.

January 2018.

I write books too…

Blown Like A Leaf – If you haven’t read part one of my memoir you can listen to a song version of it in the video section here (I was Chosen) – it’s not exactly a summary; more a random collection of lines from it. You can guess what the lines mean, or read the book to get a full picture. The book is available from for 4 quid.

Book two will be available soon. Currently without a definite title and on its way back and forward between Sussex (where I live) and Wales (where Phil lives) being edited, checked, re-edited, rechecked as many times as we feel is necessary to avoid misspelling Chichester and giving 2 different years for the same event as I/we did in book 1.

It’s not just up-dates and forgotten things, though there is some of that. There is also some fiction included, some further reflections, a bit of subtle and not so subtle advertising, some art, poetry, and photos.

There are also a few lists; it’s not just Bloomin’ Nora who like lists, the real me does too. I’ve even gone beyond the basic list to a table, some pie-charts, Venn diagrams and something I believe is called a pictogram.





Loads of people have said what a great name Bloomin’ Nora is. I won’t describe the steps that led to me choosing that name, but will give a prize to the first person to spot the 2 linked literary references in there.

When I decided that this was “the” name I wanted, I Googled it to check that there wasn’t already a band with that name. There wasn’t, but I did find out that the original phrase was “Bleeding Nora” and this became a phrase after Lord Somethingorother walked into his kitchen to find that one of his maid servants, Nora, had just killed another servant with a cucumber and was covered in blood. Maybe I just dreamt that.

My idea to form a female beginners band was partly a kind of feminist statement, but I also had in the back of my mind that it would be a good way to make some like-minded female friends. As someone who fairly recently moved 100 miles from her home town to be with a new partner most of my friends are his, and male. Well that’s been a failure then. Oh well, at least the various band contributors are great musicians who encourage and inspire me, and are people I already know and get on well with.

Still on the lookout for any female budding musicians – get in touch if you’re interested – you can have a share of profits. And by that I mean a share of the fun, excitement, and thrill of standing up on stage with only a vague idea of what might happen.